Imagine that every painful experience you have ever been through creates a file.

Your mind stores the event.

It stores what happened.

It stores how you felt.

And it stores what you came to believe about yourself because of that experience.

Now imagine that every heavy feeling associated with that experience becomes a brick.

Shame is a brick.

Guilt is a brick.

Fear is a brick.

Anger is a brick.

Sadness is a brick.

One experience.

One file.

Several bricks.

But what happens when the painful experience doesn’t happen just once?

What happens when it happens over and over and over again?

Another experience.

Another brick.

Another experience.

Another brick.

Year after year.

How heavy does everything eventually become?

The problem is that most of us were never taught how to resolve what happened to us.

We weren’t taught how to understand our emotions.

We weren’t taught how to sit with our pain.

We weren’t taught how to look at our experiences through loving eyes.

And so we carried them.

We got older.

We went to school.

We found jobs.

We created relationships.

We had families.

We built lives.

And all the while, we continued carrying those bricks.

Sometimes we don’t even realise how heavy they have become.

We have been carrying them for so long that we have forgotten what it feels like not to carry them.

Then someone says something.

Someone rejects us.

Someone criticises us.

Someone makes us feel as though we aren’t good enough.

And suddenly, the shame returns.

The anger returns.

The fear returns.

The feeling of unworthiness returns.

And we wonder why we are reacting so strongly to something happening today.

Perhaps we are not only responding to today.

Perhaps we are also feeling the weight of everything we have carried with us from yesterday.

Another experience touches the old pain.

Another brick is added to the pile.

And still, we continue carrying it.

Imagine holding your hand in a fist as tightly as you possibly can.

Really squeeze it.

How long could you hold your hand like that?

Could you hold it for an hour?

Could you hold it for an entire day?

Eventually your hand would become tired.

Eventually, you would need to let go.

Now think about everything you may have been holding onto throughout your life.

The stress.

The fear.

The anger.

The sadness.

The shame.

The guilt.

The experiences you haven’t wanted to look at.

How long have you been holding on?

How tired are you from carrying everything?

And perhaps the most important question is:

Is it time to let go?

Sometimes when people begin their healing journey, they want everything gone immediately.

They want to let go of the past.

They want to release the anger.

They want to stop feeling afraid.

They want to forgive.

They want to heal.

Now.

But imagine how long it took to build that pile of bricks.

Years.

Perhaps decades.

Healing doesn’t need to become another reason to rush yourself.

Perhaps you can simply begin with one brick.

One experience.

One feeling.

One belief.

Pick it up.

Look at it.

Ask yourself:

Where did this come from?

What happened to me?

How did I feel?

What did I come to believe about myself because of this experience?

Is that belief still true?

Do I still need to carry this?

And perhaps, when you are ready, you can gently put that brick down.

For me, healing is about looking at these experiences through the eyes of love.

It is about taking the file we have carried for so long and finally opening it.

Looking at what is inside.

Understanding it.

Loving the person we were when it happened.

And asking whether we still need to carry it.

Perhaps we don’t.

Perhaps the file has served its purpose.

Perhaps we can take that piece of paper and place it in the recycling bin.

We are not pretending it never existed.

We are not pretending the experience never happened.

We are simply acknowledging that we no longer need to carry it in the same way.

So today, I invite you to ask yourself:

What bricks have I been carrying?

Shame?

Guilt?

Anger?

Fear?

Sadness?

The belief that you are not good enough?

The belief that you are not worthy of love?

The belief that you must always be strong?

You don’t need to put them all down today.

Simply become aware of what you are carrying.

Look at one brick.

Hold it with love.

Listen to what it has to teach you.

And when you are ready…

perhaps you can finally put it down.

Because you were never meant to spend your entire life carrying the weight of your past.